Who is Uncle Scar? Why is it important to talk about toxic family members?
Most of us are very familiar with the classic, The Lion King. Simba’s Uncle Scar is a toxic character, who for our purposes might be someone in your family who you don’t trust or do not want your kids near them. It is important about these “characters” to kids in case they find themselves in awkward or even dangerous situations.
Let us focus in the big mistake that Mufasa and Sarabi made by not speaking clearly to Simba about his Uncle Scar. Mum and Dad had stopped trusting him, but nobody told this to little Simba.
Maybe Simba’s parents didn’t want to contaminate him with “adult problems”. Perhaps they hoped they could contain the uncle’s actions.
Maybe they expected something to change over time and Scar would come to his senses. Maybe they didn’t want to talk badly about one of their own pack. But the truth is that not having spoken clearly with little Simba brought serious consequences to the family.
In real life, as in The Lion King, we must stop postponing important talks about an uncle, a grandfather or any family member or friend who we don’t trust and make things clear with the children. (At any age)
To speak clearly is not to frighten them or harm the image they have of another person. Just let them know that adults have disagreements; that at that moment Mom and Dad don’t understand and don’t trust what the “uncle” is doing; and that, as they have confidence in their son, they wanted to make him aware of what is happening among adults.
Our children will be able to intuit sincerity when we say that we have great esteem for the uncle and that we hope that the situation will be good as before. They can also understand that it is not necessary to bother him to make an alliance with dad and mom. Adult problems will be solved by adults.
Then, depending on the particular situation, we can talk to the children and ask them:
- If “Uncle Scar” asks you to keep a secret, remember that good things can always be told to others.
- If you’re home alone and “Uncle Scar” arrives, we’re going to ask you not to open the door.
- If “Uncle Scar” arrives for you at school and invites you for a walk, tell him that you must wait for us.
- If “Uncle Scar” say something you don’t like, don’t hesitate to tell Mom and Dad.
Now if you have missed talking about “Uncle Scar” at home, TODAY can be a good day to do it.
IMPORTANT: Uncle Scar can also be a woman!
If you want to learn about the traits of a toxic person, read more here.
